แมลงสาบ – The Cockroach Apocalypse

 As noted previously, the cockroach is called “Malaeng” in Thai because it has no backbone. In spite of being spineless and boneless though, a cockroach has sufficient rigidity that will produce a satisfying crunch when squished. The “sahp” in the Thai word for cockroach refers to a musty smell. The musty things I’ve smelled would be perfume next to cockroach odor, but sometimes words are just insufficient to convey their full meaning. In any case, in Bangkok we became much more familiar with cockroach body odor than we ever wanted. It was not unusual for us to wake up at night with the distinctive cockroach aroma filling our olfactories. And, if the “sahp” was in the air we knew the “malaeng” was close by. Too close!

But the cockroach apocalypse has more to do with the flooding of Bangkok than it does with cockroach squishiness and odor. It would be very easy to write a report on the mountains and hill tops of Bangkok because there are none. The entire city is only between 4 and 11 feet above sea level. So, it is low and flat. It is also close enough to the ocean that the Chao Phraya River that flows along one side of the city (and is the border between the cities of Bangkok and Thonburi) sometimes is affected by high tides effectively blocking the flow of the river and raising water levels. The Chao Phraya River also drains much of the country so heavy rains in the north, can cause high water levels in Bangkok. The city is also sinking and the drainage system is poor. Put any number of those factors together and Bangkok will flood.

Our apartment was about a 15 minute walk to the language school and the neighborhood wasn’t far from the river. For any readers familiar with that part of Bangkok, our apartment was on Sathorn Rd. So, as I remember it, leaving our building, we would turn right onto Saladaeng Rd, go up to Silom Rd, turn left, walk up to Patpong Rd and turn right and the CCT building that housed the language school in 1982 was at the end of Patpong Rd. on Surawong Rd. At times, as shown in the photo, especially Saladaeng Rd would flood and we’d have wet feet for the day at language school (producing our own musty smell only slightly less disturbing than that of the cockroach).

What’s the connection between flooding and cockroaches? Well, the cockroach population has to go somewhere during the day and the Bangkok sewer system is the ideal habitat. It’s dark, full of left over food remains from a multitude of street vendors, damp, dirty and even comes with its’ own “sahp” to compliment and amplify the cockroach’s own aroma.

Even on a dry day and especially at night, walking the sidewalks along Saladaeng and Silom Roads it’s common to see the cockroaches popping out of the sewers to cross the sidewalks to pick up a snack from a street vendor’s stall. After a bite, they would scurry back to their condo in the sewer. Sidewalks are jammed with people of course, so a few roaches might get stepped on, but people ignore them so cockroach casualties are few and the roach population is safe. 

The cockroach apocalypse comes when the flood waters rise. Apparently, cockroaches can’t hold their breath indefinitely, don’t like to swim and have no access to scuba gear. So, as the water rises in the sewer, so does the cockroach population. Finally, there is a point when the sewers are officially full and just as the water gushes out to begin flooding the streets, the cockroaches are given an evacuation order and they gush out onto the sidewalk all at once in a quivering, skittering mob. The number of sewer dwelling cockroaches must truly be astounding as the sight of their mass evacuation is genuinely apocalyptic! We got to witness this natural phenomenon a couple times during our stay in Bangkok. We’d like to “unsee” it, but so far, even our fading memories can’t erase it.