School of Cultural Hard-Knocks

We expected Thailand and the Thai people to be different culturally, so we fully expected to be making adjustments and getting used to new things. So learning and experiencing the cultural differences didn’t upset us at all, but we did have a lot to learn. 

All kinds of food is available along the street

The first couple months in Bangkok we’d get queasy just walking the streets. The heat, noise, sights, smells, exhaust etc. was hard to take. On the way to language school, at the corner of Soi Saladaeng and Silom Rd. was a vendor that was always cooking up a huge vat of Khao Kha Mu (Stewed Pork Leg). Picture the large chunks of pork leg still enrolled in inches of jiggly fat swimming in a brown, boiling, fatty liquid brew of unknown origin with other various unidentifiable things floating around. The greasy, queasy, spicy smell combined with everything else was almost too much. At least it was too much for a while. Eventually, after a few plates of Khao Kha Mu we found it actually looked good on the plate and tasted quite good as well. Instead of getting queasy, we soon found that at least some of the sights and smells started to make us hungry. If we could overcome Khao Kha Mu, we were confident we could make it in Thailand! 

Getting our first driver’s license was instructional as well. We were told we were “buying” our license bypassing the normal process which would involve more Thai language ability than we had at the time. We hadn’t even started language school yet so we had zero Thai and the mediator that was helping us get the license spoke zero English. We’d been coached ahead of time that when we arrived at the Police Station to just go and sit down where he showed us, then come when we were called. Sounded easy enough, but we were still nervous. Just how illegal was this? Did we need to be worried? We worried whether we needed to or not.

We got to the Police Station, followed the guy around for a while, then sat down where indicated. So far, so good. Then our mediator went up to first one window, then another doing what ever he needed to do. After stopping at the required number of windows, he turned around and made the gesture toward us as seen in the video clip. We had no idea what the gesture meant. Was he motioning us to go away? Were we about to get busted for trying to get an illicit driver’s license? Should we run? The longer we stood there looking confused the more emphatically he kept waving his hand furthering our confusion. But he was looking right at us and didn’t seem nervous himself. Finally, his arm got tired and he came back to where we were and led us to the counter. We signed our name and did what ever we needed to do. But what on earth was that gesture? Later, after consulting our cultural mentors, we learned the palm down, hand waving gesture means “come here”. Easily learned but just overlooked in our cultural adjustment training. 

Another early lesson is that the British and Americans may stand in line or “queue” and wait “their turn” but they are in a tiny minority in Thailand. At places like the Post Office, people would huddle around the counter and do their best to get noticed by the person behind the counter. Being first, second or 40th didn’t matter. It was all about setting yourself up in front of the person behind the window in such a way you couldn’t be ignored. Being a tall person, I would put one hand on the counter to try and stake out some territory and protect my flank so no one could come from the side and squeeze in ahead of me. It would sometimes work, but sometimes a short person about armpit height would duck under my arm and wiggle their way in front. Sometimes they’d turn around and smile as if to say “You don’t mind do you?” I did mind, but if they were determined enough to endure my armpit, I’d let them have the victory. E-mail would eventually limit our trips to the post office but we had many years “going postal”. 

Bangkok bus stops also required a degree of assertiveness many westerners needed to acquire. Bus stops were almost perpetually crowded. When a bus arrived, there was usually a swarm of people primed and ready to disembark. In fact, many would start hopping off the bus before it stopped so they literally hit the ground running. When the outflow slowed the slightest, the crowd at the bus stop waiting to board the bus would surge forward en masse with as many getting on as possible in the shortest amount of time. Nothing even close to a line was formed and if there was the slightest hesitation in boarding, several would appear from out of the ether and hop on. Whether everyone had boarded or not, the bus would soon take off. There was a schedule to keep! 

Harvey Jones was an Australian Baptist taking language school with us. He lived some distance away from the school and took a city bus to come to school. One day we noticed he was really late. In fact, we were finishing our first break when he came dashing in. We asked him what happened and he told us he was ready to go on time but each time he tried to get on the bus a bunch of people would cut in front of him. He’d finally get his chance to get on, then the bus would leave before he made his move. He’d missed several busses that way but finally made it. It made us glad we could walk to school. 

A final lesson was at restaurants. Our experience in American restaurants was that as soon as we finished our meal, or maybe a little before, the server would give us the bill. They might say we could take our time, but the implication was that “you’re done so pay up and move on so the next person can have your table.” That’s all we knew so we were surprised when the first time we ate at a Thai restaurant and finished our meal the servers never appeared. We could see them standing around chatting with each other. They weren’t doing anything, so why didn’t we get the bill? Finally, after waiting an interminably length of time, we asked for the check. They said “Sure” (but in Thai) and brought it right out. That’s the Thai system. It says, “Take your time. We’re in no hurry, so you decide when you’re finished and when you decide you’re ready, just ask for the check and we’ll bring it.” Who knew? Not us, but we caught on before too long and started asking for the check. By the way, want to know the Thai word for “check”? It’s “check”, the same as English. See? Language learning is easy.

Cutting in line in the US will generate righteous anger and can spark anything from dirty looks, to angry outbursts, to fist fights or worse. The amoeba-like, mass surging of people cluster approach used in Thailand and many other places in the world seems to work as well. It’s how business gets done. In all our years in Thailand, I don’t recall anyone getting upset waiting to board a bus or to get stamps at the PO. But maybe, I was just too busy staking out my position to notice!