A Family Shock!

 

Us with Marcia's parents, probably in late 1982
shortly before going to Thailand

for the first time.

The previous post chronicled our trip to Hong Kong. On our return, a flight delay made us arrive in Bangkok late Saturday night so we didn’t get up for the early Sunday morning English language service at the International Church. But, I had a mid-morning appointment for a physical at a Seven Day Adventist hospital (which was open on Sundays) that kept us tied up until early afternoon.  We eventually returned to the Bangkok Christian Guest House to be met by Bob Coats who was heading up the Thailand Baptist Missionary Fellowship (TBMF) office at the time. In the days before cell phones, personal computers, e-mail, texting, etc., we had no idea he had been looking for us since Saturday night.

Bob was looking for us to let us know that the TBMF office had gotten a call from Marcia’s brothers in the US saying that Marcia’s father had died suddenly on Friday night (Ohio time, Saturday morning Thai time). This was Mother’s Day weekend in the US and apparently, all the American Ex-pats in Thailand had the overseas phone lines tied up calling their mothers. We tried off and on the rest of Sunday to make contact with Marcia’s bothers but could never get through. Monday morning, we tried again from Bangkok and connected for 30 seconds but got cut off and couldn’t reconnect.

Monday, we flew back to Chiang Mai then finally, that night, Marcia was able to make phone contact with her mother and brothers. Marcia’s father had had diabetes related heart and vascular issues but nothing urgent anyone knew of at the time. But on that Friday evening, he bent down to pick up a telephone that had fallen off Marcia’s mother’s bedside table and he just slumped over, apparently dying instantly. He was 64.

Marcia’s mother was bed ridden with arthritis and couldn’t get out of bed to reach the phone that had fallen. That was her only connection to the outside world so she was not able to call for help. It was only the next morning when her health aide arrived and couldn’t get in the house that the alarm was raised and help eventually came.

Marcia (back to camera), sister in law Gayle,
and brothers Eric and Mark sorting some photos

Marcia’s two brothers had already arrived and were with Marica’s mother when we finally got through on the phone that Monday night. By then, the funeral was already planned and was to be held the next day. There was no way we could arrive in time, plus it was felt Marcia’s mother would have lots of visitors and company related to the funeral, but could well be lonely in a few months. So, it was agreed that we wouldn’t try to come for the funeral, but would come in 4 – 5 months around Marcia’s mother’s birthday.

Marcia had a good visit with her mother by phone that night and it was such a relief to finally get through. Marcia soon came to appreciate the call even more though, as within hours of hanging up, Marcia’s mother had also died. The phone call ended Monday morning Ohio time and throughout the day, funeral plans were progressing and preparations were being made for the Tuesday service for Marcia’s father.

Monday night, Marcia’s mother went to bed as usual. The only difference was that there was an aide staying in the house as well. During the night, the aide heard Marcia’s mother repeating something like, “I’m ready to go, I’m ready to go”. The aide assumed Marcia’s mother was dreaming and saying she was ready to go to the funeral. It was quickly quiet again so the health aide went back to sleep. Early in the morning though, the aide awoke to find that Marcia’s mother was no longer alive. We believe Marcia’s mother was assuring the Lord she was ready to go and rather than a life bed ridden by arthritis, the Lord was gracious enough to take her to a life free of pain.

While Marcia’s mother was celebrating her reunion with Christ and her husband, the family was in double shock. The funeral for Marcia’s father was quickly postponed and a double funeral for both Marcia’s mother and father was quickly planned for May 20^th. We got word in Thailand that Marcia’s mother had also passed and that we needed to get to the US in time for the funeral. It was already the evening of the15th so we had only four days to make the trip happen, a process that usually took weeks!

Travel arrangements couldn’t be made as quickly pre-computer days, but we were fortunate to get a flight to Bangkok the next morning. We arrived and went to the TBMF office where heroic efforts were being made on our behalf. We were fortunate that we’d just returned from Hong Kong. We had to get tax clearance from the government to leave Thailand which was usually a several days process. Our tax clearance from the Hong Kong trip was still in effect however, so that saved a lot of time. We also had to get a re-entry visa so that we could return to Thailand under the same visa we had left with. This visa allowed us to work as missionaries and is not easy to get. More bureaucracy!

Of course, we also had to get plane tickets. These were the days of paper tickets that even with an expedited process, wouldn’t be printed and available until that afternoon. Fortunately, members of one of the Chinese Baptist churches owned a travel agency that was able to get tickets for us much quicker than usual and they arrived at the TBMF office around 2:45 that afternoon.  With tickets in hand to prove we were leaving Thailand, we “zipped” (as fast as Bangkok traffic would allow) to the Immigration Office where our passports were being held. We got our passports stamped with the re-entry visa, then it was back briefly to the Bangkok Christian Guest House. We were met there by fellow missionaries Marshall and June Peters who took us to the airport. We’d been rushing all day, then we got to the airport to learn the flight had been delayed for an hour!

Slightly delayed, we flew to Hong Kong where we had just had our vacation. It was nice to stay in the airport hotel that night where we could unwind a bit. A lot had happened in just a few days and more was to come. Time zones and the international dateline worked in our favor and for once, the planes were on time. So, we arrived in Ohio late on the night of May 18^th. That gave us a rest day on the 19^th before the funeral on the 20^th. Marcia’s brothers and their wives met us in Columbus Ohio and took us to Waverly, Ohio where Marcia’s parents had moved into a retirement community about 9 months prior.

The double funeral went well and was followed by burial in the town of New Concord, about a 2 1/2  hour drive. From New Concord, it was back to the retirement community in Waverly. As surviving family, it was the job of Marcia, her brothers, and all the accompanying spouses and relatives to empty the house as soon as possible so the retirement community could use it again.

So began a full week of divvying up the acquired accoutrements of two lifetimes. I’m afraid that Marcia’s parents were collectors and even though they had done some serious downsizing when they moved into the retirement community, there was a lot of things to deal with. It was especially tricky for us, as we had no home in the US where we could store things. So, we wound up renting a storage unit as well as having Duane’s parents and brother hold some things for us.

Marcia at the soon to be loaded U-Haul

There were also logistical challenges in getting all the furnishings and belongings trucked to where they
needed to go. Duane’s parents came down with their pickup truck and delivered some loads on our behalf and then left the pickup for us to make a final load or two. We also rented some U-Haul trucks to take things to Tennessee and Cleveland, Ohio where Marcia’s brothers lived.

After everything had been divided and delivered, we stayed a few days with Duane’s parents in Ohio where we had a good number of family and friends visit. Our former pastor from Jefferson, Ohio and some church members even came to see us off at the airport in Cleveland. From Cleveland, we flew to Seattle where we spent a night. The next day it was on to Hong Kong where we spent another night, then on to Bangkok and then Chiang Mai.

We were exhausted by the time we got back home to Chiang Mai but had a lot to catch up with. It had all been a whirlwind and a shock. We’re grateful for all the help we had to make it happen though. It wouldn’t have been possible to get there in time for the funeral without all the help of the TBMF office staff and mission colleagues so we’re especially grateful to them. Our mission even paid for one of the plane tickets and the First Baptist Church of Jefferson, Ohio paid for the other. Marcia’s brothers and their wives were great and Duane’s family also went many extra miles (literally) to help as well. God has given us good families, both a mission family and a natural family. We’re grateful to them all.